Honoring the Healer: Heal Thyself Edition | Ev'yan Whitney

What is your name & location?

Ev'Yan Whitney, Portland, Oregon

How do you heal yourself? What is your favorite form of self-therapy?

I use orgasm to heal myself.

When/what was the catalyst that made you start?

I noticed that every time I had sex (either with myself or with others) that resulted in orgasm, the stress or self-doubt or disconnection from self that I was feeling before had completely faded away.

How has this form of healing helped you?

It connects me to my sensual body when the world around me is trying to shame my existence. It reminds me that I am worthy of pleasure when inner criticisms tell me that I am not enough. It creates intimacy with my lover in times when I feel isolated and alone.

What does your process look like? (Please share what you feel comfortable sharing)

Sometimes this looks like having actual sex, but lately, because of how busy I've been with work, sex isn't happening as frequently as I would like. Nevertheless, I still try to make time to at least connect with my body via acts of sexual self-care—that is, a self-care practice that heals and gently acknowledges you as a sexual being while you’re in a place of tenderness and inactivity. One of my favorite acts of sexual self-care (that doesn't involve sex per se) is slathering coconut oil all over my body while I say affirmations that remind me that I am a sexual being.

How does it make you feel when you are healing yourself?

I feel grounded in my body and in my purpose. I feel lightness, ease, openness.

Why is what you do so important? Why is this form of self-helping important to you?

I am a sexuality doula—a person who facilitates, educates, and hold space for women and femmes who are seeking to come into the full expression of their erotic selves. And through doing this work, as I watch my clients bloom into free and liberated sexual identities, I become inspired to take up space as my own sexual being. Through my work, I've learned to be sexually liberated by teaching sexual liberation.

What is your inspiration to continue doing what you are doing? What is the fuel that keeps you going?

Knowing that there are thousands and thousands of women and femmes out there that are completely disconnected from their sexual radiance, who are crippled by shame or self-doubt, who've been told that their sexual beingness is something to apologize for, something to keep hidden—that keeps me inspired to keep going. Especially now, in this day and age, where the bodily and sexual autonomy of women and femmes is being even more threatened and shamed, I feel even more of an imperative to stand up and resist those voices that are trying to keep us small and submissive.

What are your visions &/or goals?

My vision and goal for myself in this work is and always has been that I always stand in my personal truth. I know that whenever I do that, that's when healing takes place—not just for me, but for others. I think that's why my work has been so effective. Others are healed (or at least inspired to begin their sexual healing journeys) through witnessing my vulnerability and truth-speaking.

Tell us a fun fact about your form of healing, what it is that you do, or something people may not know.

I love, love, love twerking and dancing like a hoe as a method of self-pleasuring!

In one sentence, what is your message to the world?

Reclaim your erotic power—whatever that means or looks like to you.

You can stay in contact with Ev'yan by visiting her website sexloveliberation.com or her Instagram @evyan.whitney.

#HonoringTheHealer #healthyself